How is it legal for Canadian cities like Toronto and Seattle to have major league baseball teams?

@gruber

Pretty well equipped to test the “bacon cures hangovers” theory.

@jimray

Ajax, Motherfuton.

@motherfuton

Vegan onion soup? Not with this giant spoonful of cheese, you're not.

@bronwynjones

I think I accidentially “sexted” last night.

@jcroft

Green is the new Black, in the “But seriously. We’re Socially Responsible n stuff” marketing sort of way.

@luxuryluke

There are no adult Timmys.

@mikeindustries

loves the TurboTax help tips like, you can not claim a kidnapped child as a dependent.

@Renaud

If I live in a world where it’s possible to have too much Abe Vigoda, then I say bring me a new world.

@mrwarren