Is “mumbling” among the “7 habits of highly effective people?”  Because I do that.  I mumble.  Yeah.

Got up one minute before my alarm clock went off.  Today, I’m in charge!

My jenga game is ruined!

@instantvoodoo It’s the very best day for a birthday.

Just scored the lucky 23rd slot at this comedy show.

You haven’t lived until you’ve died—onstage at a Mexican restaurant in the suburbs.

Life begins at 40 alright… it begins to decay.

If “40 is the new 20,” then I look like shit.

Suspect my co-workers would be less impressed by my typing speed if they knew I was just filling screens with the phrase “GORNAK IS HUNGRY!”

The Last Airbender was a tour de force.  Must be all that cabbage soup I had last night…  Oh, here comes another one!

At a casino.  So far, I’ve lost $20 from video poker and 2 years of life from secondhand smoke.

It just dawned on me that this head injury has been smarting for over three weeks.  Is that bad?

The bar is in a skeevy part of town.  Even worse, there is no nearby parking; I had to park two gang territories away.

All my friends seem so much happier than I am.  To make matters worse, they keep rubbing it in my facebook.

RIP John Shepard-Baron, inventor of the ATM.  He will be buried this Saturday.  However, the deposit won’t go through until Monday.

There’s a chain of diners in LA called Norms.  I don’t know why they call it Norms; it’s full of freaks.

I am interviewing a famous sushi chef tonight. Is there anything you’ve ever wanted to ask a sushi chef?

Was going to get a Double Down at KFC but wound up choosing something healthier: a handful of rusty nails in a plastic bag of mayonnaise.

This work environment bums me out.  Even the mice seem depressed.

Just saw an adult film that celebrated a woman’s inner beauty.  I could see right into her.  She had a hot pair of kidneys.